A Little Piece of Heaven

I'm exposing myself here a bit and sharing something I wouldn't normally share and I decided to do this because I want others to know they aren't alone in feeling this way sometimes. 
I have bad days just like anyone else I'm sure. I have had more of these days with three little ones running around causing a muck. I think it may also be the stress of too many things being out of my control-yes, I can be a control freak. Anyone who knows me well, knows this about me. I like control where control should be-what to make for dinner, things within my home and who my kids play with; the things I feel I deserve to have control of, you know. I was having a moment while staring at the mess that used to be a clean living room, I just took in a deep breath and felt like I was drowning. I called Rick and asked him to give me a pep talk or a reminder of why I do what I do day in and day out. He wasn't helpful and that only made me want to cry. He was busy with work and I understand that and so we left it at that and I thought of the next best thing, or so I thought. My idea was to call a friend but that wasn't the best idea either because the idea that popped into my head next was truly the best idea.

There I was, sitting on my couch with my knees pulled up tight to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs and right then and there I closed my eyes and prayed. I was saying this prayer, asking my Heavenly Father to remind me what my job is and where to start. I often wonder this these days. I think sometimes I get swallowed up in the day to day chores- feeding the kids, doing the laundry and dishes that never seem to end, and all the other little things that come with it. Lincoln was pestering me while I had my head bowed in prayer and even then I was annoyed and tossed the Happy napper toy across the room while it sang, " Happy! Happy Napper!! ...And we love to play with you..  we're happy." I thought to myself, I'm not happy and that song does Not make me happy so shut the crap up!

I paused a moment and then went back to praying, only more casually and sincerely open this time,  like I were having a conversation with a friend. I cried, sucked it up and finished my prayer. As I wiped the last of my tears away, Lincoln had bounced back into the room. What were you doing, mom?, He asked.

I replied, " I was praying bud.

Why?

Because I felt like I needed to. 

Why?

Because I don't really know what I'm doing. I get confused about where to start and how to make things better than they are sometimes.

But your my mom!

I teared up and chocked back, I AM YOUR MOM. And what is your mom supposed to do for you bud?

You take care of me.

Yeah, but How? What does that mean to you?

You feed me when I'm hungry, which is F O R E V E R....He drug the word out as though it signified how often I fed him; the bottomless pit.

I laughed and said, yeah you're right. You are A L W A Y S hungry.

He got his face real close to mine and said, "yeah, I am. So go make me something to eat!"

Hey! How do we ask nicely?

Pleeeeassse!!

That's better. Does your mom teach you to be nice too.

Yeah!! He puckered up and gave me a big kiss.

If that message wasn't sent directly from Heaven, I must be getting my signals crossed.

Chili cook off

So the ward does a chili cook off each year and this year I thought, I'll sign up to make some cornbread. Rick signed up to make some chili and mentions this to me Sunday afternoon. My first thought is...Oh no, I'm going to get dragged into making that one. My second thought replaces the first with a hope that Rick will happen to get off work on time to make it himself and everything will go swimmingly.
 Well, Tuesday afternoon, Rick mentions his work is picking up and he will be working ten hour days now for a few months....And he sneaks into conversation, I may need you to make my chili I planned to make. He had found a recipe for some Italian sausage chili....Sigh* How did I know this would happen. Oh I know, because the same thing happened last year too. HAHA!! Oh well, no big deal.
So I plan to have a productive and super woman like day on Wednesday preparing the most delicious Italian sausage chili and awesome cornbread made from scratch. It actually did go well. Lincoln helped me clean out the peppers and even got to cut some (with my help and supervision) and we had all our prep work done that morning long before I needed to have it prepared so I decided to give it some time and finish it up later. The fresher the better, Right?!
 The chili was perfect and so delicious. I'm not a big sausage person but I liked it and that opinion wasn't at all based on the fact that I made it. The cornbread, however, was taking way longer than expected to cook. Heavens! It said it would only take 45 minutes. It had to have been the few tweaks I made with the recipe...It made us late. Fifteen minutes late! I had told Rick to go ahead without me and I would come later but he decided it wouldn't make much difference. So, we waited and went together. It was a fun gathering and the kids had a blast playing with their friends. My cornbread really was pretty awesome even though it didn't look like it was. I didn't want to claim my cornbread though. It looked burnt but believe me it was good and there wasn't any for me to bring home which was nice. Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, it didn't look black burnt  but kind of a dark brown-ish in spots. It obviously wasn't too bad if I didn't have to bring much home. The chili didn't get eaten much though. They had way more choices this year which made it more competitive and less chili was eaten. Last year, I think they ran out of most. Maybe that's why this year there was way more that was made from everyone that brought some.
Anyway, now that I've made chili for an entire army, I will be suffering from the side effects from everyone in the house that eats it- For days!! I won't be eating it, although I'm starting to think I should so that I have some ammunition to give back to the rest of them. If you know what I mean.

Raspberry patch & Raspberry kisses

I grew up in Diamond Valley and had never heard about the Shoal Creek Raspberry farms just north of us in good, old Enterprise. I was excited to try it out and we had such a blast!! We stuffed our faces full of raspberries and left with a flat and a half of more raspberries. The kids got to ride in the tractor bucket. Rick and I could hear their cute little squeals and laughter all the way around the farm... It made our day!
Just when we thought we were done, we saw the black berries and went in for another basket full. It wasn't until the end of our trip that we saw the Golden raspberries and were in raspberry heaven. Haha!! I never even knew there was such a thing as Golden raspberries ..and I'm a totally crazy fruit lover! ...They were delicious. Truth is, just in the back of the farm, they had at least 17 different varieties of raspberries and each tasted slightly different than the other. Some were more tart while others tasted like you were eating a warm raspberry pie and the better ones in my opinion, were the first tart and then sweet raspberries. We had selected a few of our favorite rows- Row 12, 8, 7, 4.... Oh, what the heck?! They were all good.
I would have to say that the Golden raspberries and black berries were my all time favorite!
The people are amazing and friendly and easy to talk to. This may just become a family tradition and I'm so happy we made the trip to do it. The kids had so much fun, as you can see by their faces. They also played on the swing set while they waited for us to finish picking raspberries. We made everything raspberry for the next couple days- Raspberries and cream, raspberries and whipped topping, Raspberry cheesecake, and raspberry jello. It was the most delicious family outing we've had. There is nothing like raspberries right off the vine. The beautiful sunny, warm and yet cool breeze was perfect for the days pickings. I couldn't have asked for a better family outing.