First of all, Happy Holidays!! I love and hate this time of year. I love the music, the traditions, baking and crafting with the kids, celebrating the birth of Christ and having the continual feeling of gratitude and service, but I hate what the media has done to it. Christmas is not about the presents but it is centered around Christ.
I love what Thomas S. Monson had to say, "Our Heavenly Father's plan contains the ultimate expressions of true love. All that we hold dear-even our families, our friends, our joy, our knowledge, our testimonies-would vanish were it not for our Father and His son, the Lord Jesus Christ....the world has witnessed no greater gift, nor has it known more lasting love" My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ gave me the greatest gift of all. His atoning sacrifice is what gives me Life ...and gives me a reason to celebrate this beautiful Holiday. All my Love to all of you on this very merry Christmas.
I went into the hospital at 7am with contractions a couple of minutes apart. I was complete at 10 am. I had the greatest desire to have Lincoln naturally. We all thought I would be popping him out with only a three hour labor, but when it came time to push there was no Lincoln. Their initial thought was he's posterior and it was making labor harder. I pushed for an hour and then the doctor recommended I either get an epidural or do a c-section. I was exhausted at this point and literally felt I had the smallest amount left in me. But I had so much support and at moments I had several pairs of hands on me- literally and spiritually: playing with my hair, rubbing my hands and feet, whispering encouraging words and reminding me to try my hardest to relax and focus on what made it better, which was the love of my life standing in front of me bracing my knees with helpless tears in his eyes. When I was faced with the decision- epidural or C-section?? I thought to myself- I'm a failure. I've made it all this way and I can't seem to have this baby, and when I submitted to the epidural, my heart was aching (I wanted to do it all natural so bad). It was at that moment when I felt my grandma’s sweet spirit embracing me and the small whisperings of comfort from her. I had done what I could then and I was far from being a failure.
There were several there to help console me which I'm indeed grateful for, My mom, my sisters, Telli and Jayna, my soon to be sister-in-law, Jennie, my dear friend, Rae, my cousin, Angie and of course, my Rick. I received the epidural and the labor stood still for hours. More pushing at times but also a lot of waiting, repositioning and trying to figure out what was stopping the baby from coming. They had found out he was posterior and couldn't get him to turn. Then they realized he was transverse posterior- sideways and face-up. But he still wasn't coming... my doctor got a second opinion from Dr. Fagnant and they realized the baby was wedged up in my pelvic bone. He wasn't budging! They said they were going to try the vacuum to see if they could get his head to move down. They told me that there were risks involved, the vacuum could get the baby out part of the way but he could get stuck and then they would have to rush me to emergency C-section Or if the vacuum didn't work after three times they would have to resort to the c-section as well. It was then that I asked Rick for a blessing. The crew of ten or so staff left the room but Rick was the only male there. I asked my doctor to stay. A man I have always admired and who has been a blessing in our lives countless times. Dr. Thompson anointed me and Rick gave me a blessing. After that blessing I knew it was going to be okay- no matter what they would have to do- it was going to be okay. I pushed as hard as I could as they tried to pull him out. One, Two, Three times went by and each time the suction came loose. My doctor then turned to the other doctor and said one more time, which followed with one more and one more. After several times, a head finally appeared- with some good pushing on my part, a lot of support from my family and friends, a great doctor and the help from angels; Lincoln made his grand entrance into our lives.
We were all a little nervous when he wasn't coming even after the several attempts to suck him out but Rick said he looked at Dr. Thompson each time he made the decision to try "one more time" and he said he could see he was inspired to make each decision. We had complete trust in him.
Lincoln was another miracle on top of so many others we've seen take place in our lives!
Along with it all, Lincoln had a short Umbilical cord just like his daddy. Any kind of issue after the delivery was just suddenly better. He was grunting and they were thinking of neo-puffing but when they made the call to do so, it stopped. He was clear. I had no tearing which was a complete surprise to everyone that was there. I was, however very swollen. The doctor was worried about nerve damage in Lincoln's face that was completely non-apparent the next morning as well as the cone head everyone thought would take days to go down. Lincoln was beautiful and perfect in every way. The rate that we both recovered was unbelievable. It's been a huge testimony builder and one of the best experiences of my life. I thank my Heavenly Father every day and every minute I spend with my family, I find myself more and more grateful. My heart is Full. So, there it is...my birthing story.
I don’t quite know how to say all that I really desire. I want to start by saying thank you, even though those particular words just aren’t enough to express to you how truly grateful I am to have you as my mom. I want to say thank you for every scraped knee you kissed better; for every moment I looked to you as my perfect example and for the endless times you sacrificed something, even the smallest things, just for me.
The more time goes by, the more challenges I face as a mother myself, the more I recognize how truly amazing you are. You’ve done it all and I admire your strength through it all.
It was recently that I heard and read a story about a queen. Elaine S. Dalton told this story:
“When I was attending Brigham Young University, I learned what it truly means to be a queen. I was given a unique opportunity, along with a small group of other students, to meet the prophet, President David O. McKay. I was told to wear my best dress and to be ready to travel early the next morning to Huntsville, Utah, to the home of the prophet. I will never forget the experience I had. As soon as we entered the home, I felt the spirit which filled that home. We were seated in the prophet’s living room, surrounding him. President McKay had on a white suit, and seated next to him was his wife. He asked for each of us to come forward and tell him about ourselves. As I went forward, he held out his hand and held mine, and as I told him about my life and my family, he looked deeply into my eyes.
After we had finished, he leaned back in his chair and reached for his wife’s hand and said, “Now, young women, I would like you to meet my queen.” There seated next to him was his wife, Emma Ray McKay. Although she did not wear a crown of sparkling diamonds, nor was she seated on a throne, I knew she was a true queen. Her white hair was her crown, and her pure eyes sparkled like jewels. As President and Sister McKay spoke of their family and their life together, their intertwined hands spoke volumes about their love. Joy radiated from their faces. Hers was a beauty that cannot be purchased. It came from years of seeking the best gifts, becoming well educated, seeking knowledge by study and also by faith. It came from years of hard work, of faithfully enduring trials with optimism, trust, strength, and courage. It came from her unwavering devotion and fidelity to her husband, her family, and the Lord.
On that fall day in Huntsville, Utah, I was reminded of my divine identity, and I learned about what I now call “deep beauty”—the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out. It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn’t wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. It is the kind of beauty that you see in the eyes of virtuous women like your mother and grandmother. It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants.”
This deep beauty is the kind of beauty I see in you, mom. It is also the beauty I saw in grandma and it is the beauty I am striving to obtain. I love your unwavering faith, your constant trust and strength in the Lord as you endure the everyday trials and challenges that come your way. You are a queen to me. I love you.
Let me just say that this pregnancy is becoming very frustrating for me. I have many things building up on a list that I hoped to have completed before the baby comes, but it's becoming impossible to keep up with the list. I'm seriously losing the use of my legs! I don't know if that was an issue for any of you other ladies that have experienced the whole pregnancy thing but I never had this problem when I was pregnant with Lizzie. This time around, It's got me. Oh! I want my legs back! It's unbelievablydifficult to do anything with out the use of my legs. Was this a problem for any of you? Did you ever feel as though you just couldn't stand on your own two legs a minute longer?
It's about time I made a new post for those of you who are wondering how my life is going and how Lizzie is growing. Lizzie now weighs 35 pounds and is as tall, if not taller than her 4 year old cousin. She's solid and continues to insist that "she holds me". That's her way of saying," hold me, mom!". She is very much a little actress, she repeats words and actions to all her favorite movies. I really should video tape her one of these times. Her current favorite movie is Tangled. She loves her stuffed animals, Froggie, Mickey Mouse, Pooh, Doug, and Goger. Lizzie is a very persistent and determined little girl when it comes to all her endeavors. She has a perfectionist mentality ( I have no idea where she gets that from ;) ).
She takes extra precautions, even when it may not be necessary.
(I found her like this-couldn't resist!)
She loves the camera. "Cheese!"
She loves her grandpa great.
She loves her Jennie! (Dustin's girlfriend)
Lizzie tends to get oobers amounts of energy any time Jennie shows her face.
She loves the family cat and lately has triumphed in controlling Cali's every move. This poor cat gets carried around everywhere.
Lizzie loves to be a princess! It's princess everything these days. She loves her "smells"(perfume) and her "lips" (chapstick). She even enjoys having her hair done- which I love.
Obviously, in this picture, she's a bit bored of it by now :)
She loves Chocolate Milk!! In this case, she made her own by letting her Oreos soak in her milk before attempting to drink it.
She makes a very cute cowgirl and loves to go "Yee-haw!"
My Lizzie has personality like you would not believe. Along with that comes sass, attitude, defiance and loads and loads of LOVE!
So, with that being said, you may be able to imagine what my day to day is like. It's trying some days but absolutely worth it others. I love Lizzie and wouldn't change a thing about her.
Besides my life being all about Lizzie and the parenting difficulties and joys right now, it's pretty crazy hectic on top of that. The last couple of months have flown by mainly because we've stayed so busy. It's been helping my sister pack and move her things to deep-cleaning the entire downstairs from cleaning carpets to painting baseboards, doors and walls. Then it was moving our stuff to the basement as well as the ongoing process of organizing and preparing for a new little baby boy to join the family. Now, I've moved on to my projects to be completed before the baby comes as well as helping with the organization of my other sisters room, who will be returning from her mission the day of my due date. Whoo! That was a mouthful...my brain even hurts a little from that whole thought process :)
So, that's my life...for now.
For those of you who are wondering about Rick. He's doing amazing as usual. Working, going to school and taking care of us. He is acing his classes and being Lizzie's best buddy. He is the ultimate daddy and husband. I have only good things to say about him. He's amazing!!
A few weeks prior to finding out we were having a baby boy, Lizzie mentioned Wallace. I dismissed it thinking I misunderstood what she was really trying to say, but after she started referring to Wallace more frequently, I realized just who Wallace was.
Wallace was not only Lizzie's new friend but he was her imaginary friend. Now, as for what he is, I'm not sure. He is small enough to fit in the palm of her hand and spends most of his time in her pocket. And the coat closet as of lately. He comes out to play whenever she feels the need for a little company. She takes very good care of him and he, in turn, keeps her company when unfortunately, mom is unavailable to do so.
Honestly, I have grown to love and appreciate Wallace for the friend he has been to her. Lizzie adores Wallace. He is her most cherished friend.
I have often considered Wallace to be more than just Lizzie's imaginary friend, but maybe...just maybe, he was once a friend before and maybe...just maybe, her friend will be joining her again soon.
I was taking care of house chores pretty intently one day when I noticed it got kind of quiet. I thought to myself where has my Lizzie wondered off to now and what is she up to. I walked downstairs and couldn't help but smile at what I saw...
She dressed herself and was parading her outfit around the living room for all to see. I love my Little Fairy!!!
Our Halloween Fun! Tyson and Jayna's little Mario was the cutest of the bunch.
The party had to have a Raggedy Anne and Andy, right?!
Then there's the lame pregnant nurse, who didn't bother getting an actual Halloween costume because she was preoccupied with making it through the night without puking.It turned out to be a perfect costume to go along with the Hot MD House (aka: Rick)