Penny is Six weeks yesterday. She is beautiful and growing so very fast. She already weighs close to 13 lbs. It feels like she's been with us forever. She fits right in with the rest of us crazies.
I really haven't had a difficult time adjusting to having Penny around. I realize I have help when I need it but I've also had to take em all on myself quite often and I've managed just fine. I think I had a harder adjustment with my second to be honest. But I will admit to feeling like a complete Zombie just going through the motions of everyday life. People have been telling me how great I look and how well I seem to be doing with the changes of a new baby around but what they don't know is that I'm doing it all entirely emotionless. It's like the energizer bunny, he just goes and goes but he doesn't smile, doesn't stop to talk or see how a friend is doing, doesn't have purpose to the actions he's making, just goes and keeps going. That was me.
Just within this last week I have felt like my body is adjusting to the little sleep I get, which is nice. I have been able to put a smile on my face again and understand and respond to a comment made to me. It's coming slowly and I understand it doesn't happen all at once, but really wished it did. With things progressively getting better, I still have my days... I dropped Lizzie off for school the other day and when I got home, I looked down and realized my shirt was inside out. Then, my absent-minded brain decided to be late picking Lizzie up because it chose to think I was supposed to be picking her up at 11:55 instead of 11:45. I obviously got my times mixed up because I drop her off at 8:55. I forget the wipes or put my laundry in the fridge but aside from all that, I'm doing great. Okay, I'm exaggerating greatly when I speak of putting laundry in the fridge, but that's how my day felt yesterday. I felt awful seeing my Lizzie being the last one picked up from school. I thought to myself I can laugh about this or I can cry about all of this, so I chose to do a bit of both. But honestly, most days, I get to several places just fine and in good time as well as the dishes done, the laundry folded and put away, Lizzie's homework, Lincolns playtime, food on the table and anything else that decides to fall in my lap.
This week has been exceptionally busy and I have about a million things running through my head and so during this time when I should be doing dishes, I decided to blog for my own sanity. I'm feeling better already having shared with all of you my imperfections and dumb founded mistakes that come when you've officially become one of those moms that doesn't have time to change out of the puke-stained shirt or curl the now pulled-back every day pony tail...and forget about the mascara you once swiped on your eyelashes for that little extra whatever. I'm not complaining just fascinated with the changes in my life and laughing every step of the way along with some shedding of tears from time to time-- Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
because with all the crazy hustle and bustle, I feel rewarded, blessed to have the children that I do, the husband that still loves and supports me,(even though he's been put on the back burner more often, unfortunately) and my life in all it's chaotic bliss.
Slade Eric Roberts
1 month ago